Philosophical Ramblings

A link, a new year, and a promise of future insight

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 10:29:32 GMT

The last few months have been some of the most emotionally tumultuous of my entire life, and while I don't have the capacity to talk about it right now, nor can much of it be shared in blog format, I wanted to let you know that you can look forward to future insight from me here on the blog. I need to start expressing some of what's going on inside, and I'll be finding appropriate parts of my process to share in philosophical form :).

In the meanwhile, let me share with you an awesome little mash-up clip starring the original Star Trek cast, and a very inventive tune by Fall On Your Sword:

http://www.fallonyoursword.com/BackToTheShip.html

Check it out and tell me if you're not ready to watch it twice!

Crowdsourcing my Health Good habit #2: Accountability

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 17:01:56 GMT

Well, let me just say that this first month has been a bit of a disaster. I've been nursing an injured Achilles tendon all month long, and my knee has also been giving me problems, plus my general lack of focus and finishing up the end of school with the kids has kept me from creating a healthy habit of daily exercise. I've gotten some in here and there, but it hasn't been daily. I'll be carrying this habit into this coming month, along with this month's new habit. I know that the two magic ingredients of losing weight and getting healthy are increased exercise and healthier eating, and there are more formulas for healthy eating than there are things to eat. There have been so many suggestions from the Crowd on what to eat, what not to eat, what to avoid, what to include, that it's been hard to sift through them all, and I felt it something that I need to claim for myself, instead of leaving it up to the crowd. Mostly, I need to own this whole process. I've been on prolonged fasts where I've taken in nothing but fruit and vegetable juices for nearly 3 months and did so with perfect willpower, and yet I have the hardest time avoiding the tasty fatty nasty things that I love to eat so well. I've read two books recently that have influenced my attitude about eating and diet extremely - the first is In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto

and the second is The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite, and each in their own way have caused me to seek a diet of whole foods with a minimum of processing, and to not sweat the particulars of what is high in carbs, what is high in fat, or protein, omega-16, or whatever and to trust the wisdom of our ancestors and our bodies to defend against the obesity epidemic that is such a modern contrivance, and has found its bloom at the same time as nutritionist science.

But first things first. What I need to do more than anything is to make myself aware of what it is that I'm eating, and once I get a sense of my natural habits, I can create rules for myself that make sense, that identify and deal with my individual eating 'problems', by replacing them with healthy habits. Right now, my objective is to keep a notebook and to record everything I eat this month, starting today. I have kept a record for the last week, however missing a few days here and there because I didn't have my notebook on me. I need to be able to answer anyone's questions: 'What did you eat today' and 'What exercise did you do today?, even if the answer is 'a vat of Cheetos' and 'sat on my butt and flipped channels'. I need to divorce my guilt from my reality, and stop hiding from the truth because I don't like it.

So, I ask my public - help me in keeping track of my eating habits, and know that I'm trying to change my eating habits, so as I start to declare positive changes, help me follow through. Ask me what I've eaten today, or what I did for exercise. If I say 'No more sweets after 8pm', or 'no more meat on tuesdays', hold me to it.

So instead of polling everyone on what I should do, this month I just ask you to hold me to what I've decided to do. I do also need some suggestions for exercise that doesn't involve putting stress on my Achilles or knees, as they are still healing and enflamed.

Wish me luck.

Crowdsourcing my health: Good Habit #1 - Exercise 20/30 mins a day

Wed, 20 May 2009 20:58:02 GMT

I have put it out to the universe, I have built a poll, and the official result is in. You have voted that I should exercise every day for 20-30 minutes. I will start this today, and run it for a month, giving results. Unfortunately, about a week ago I pulled my Achilles tendon so my mobility is limited, but I will do what I can without further injuring myself. Today I'm going to go for a 30 minute walk, albeit slowly.

It's time for me to start collecting suggestions for June/July. Please start posting your ideas, and I will add them to the greater list. I'll collect suggestions for 2 weeks, then I'll put together another poll and get your votes.

For a benchmark, I broke the ongoing detente between myself and the scale and made the fateful weigh-in at 248. Damn, that sucks. I know it's the eating and lack of exercise that have brought me back to this state, and this is why I have to institute the good habits. I'll keep you posted on how this month goes.

Also, if anyone has a list of really good exercises to work into my routine, please let me know.

Crowdsourced health May-June 2009

Tue, 05 May 2009 04:05:53 GMT

Online Surveys & Market Research

Crowdsourcing my health and well-being

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 08:11:56 GMT

Hello everyone, long time no blog. I know. There goes that resolution :).

So, it's 1 am, I've just flown back from Colorado, and I'm sick again. Got some head/sinus/chest cold thing at the drop of a hat. It seems like my health has been horrible for this entire year so far, and I've had enough. Every time I get healthy, it seems to be an unstable health that falls down at the first sign of weakness, either lack of sleep or excess of one sort or another - my youthful constitution has waned and now I am failing my health rolls much more frequently.

It's officially 4/20, and while I haven't partaken of the ritual sacrament, I've got a 'holy' thought that I'm willing to enact. Each month for the next year, I will poll you, my readers, for one thing that I can adopt as a healthy habit or one bad habit to break, to increase my overall health and well-being. I'll collect up your suggestions, take the top 5 items, and put them on a poll which you will all then vote on. Given the assumption that the chosen behavior isn't f*cking crazy, and that I am physically capable of doing it, I'll try it for a month, and if it shows some positive affect in my life, I'll keep it. I'll give reports back on my progress, and you will collectively be my accountability coaches.

Is it a deal? Okay - starting now, I'll collect up suggestions for the next 2 weeks, then post the top 5 suggestions on a poll for the next week after that, and I will announce the winner and start performing it 5/20.

Rules:

1) I'm an overweight, out of shape dude with very little proclivity to activity - don't kill me out of the gate here. Give me achievable goals.

2) I'm not going to do anything that's actually risky to my health, nor will I do anything that's illegal, or likely to get my wife or my kids pissed at me.

3) It's got to be something I can do in 30 minutes or less a day. I don't have more time than that, realistically.

4) I don't want to post my entire medical health history online for obvious reasons. If you have specific questions, please email me and I'll reply.

5) The suggestion can be for physical, mental or spiritual health. I am taking the Chinese approach here.

If the winning suggestion is sane and reasonable, I'll do it for a month without complaint, and I'll report to the group the results along the way. Scout's honor.

Okay folks - I'm putting my health in your hands here. Help me get from where I am now to a better, healthier me one year from today.

Proud to be an American

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 09:05:35 GMT

Today (before midnight) was Inauguration Day, and while I know the job has just begun for our new president, I am proud to have seen this day come to pass, and to have been an active part of his election. I donated more this year to Barack's campaign than to all other political donations combined. I shared my thoughts and feelings on this candidate many times with many people, and while I didn't make phone calls or go out into the streets, I was a part of this movement.

Now we have a President Obama in the White House. I'm exhaling, and I'm ready, so very ready, to engage with politics again, and to have this President get to work and lead our country out of despair and into prosperity. I'm ready to do what I personally need to do to help him, and to follow his leadership. I am looking forward to his press conferences, and his speeches. Oh, how dreamy, finally a President who is thoughtful, intelligent, reasoned and inspired to do good for all Americans. I look at this man and I see the very best that this country has to offer. No man is more deserving to be the leader of the free world in this day than Barack Obama.

And yet, there is so much to do, and he's not even started yet. He's got lots of ideas, has made these ideas and plans public, and is poised, but only now has the power been handed to him. I'm sure that the Republicans felt the same way when Bush was elected 8 years ago - there was such a negative energy towards the Clinton administration, that for the right, Bush was their every-man breath of fresh air. He was one of them, in the same way that Obama is one of us. The only difference, is that Obama has been on the presidential path and public stage for over two years, and in that time, he's performed flawlessly, shown integrity and cool, shrewd intellect, and deep compassion. And he's a man who understands working hard in times of hardship - he's the exact right president for today's times.

Thank you, Obama, for rising to the challenge and serving your country at a time that would make others quake in their boots and run for the hills.

Now, get to work! :)

Weekend of Unplug, Back to the Grind

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 18:59:39 GMT

Hello everyone,

I took the weekend off of computer interactions starting Friday evening for Julia's 40th birthday party (a fun time was had by all, with mead on tap and karaoke craziness - Julia had a wonderful time), Saturday was spent recovering and Sunday we took the boys to watch the Harlem Globetrotters at the Oakland Arena, and last night I played the Battlestar Galactica board game

from Fantasy Flight games with a couple of friends (totally awesome game - very well made). All blogworthy in their own special way, but mostly I used the weekend to unplug from the computers and destress (although I did have an IT emergency that had to be handled - can never get away from that when you're in the hosting business).

The truth is, it's healthy for me to unplug as much as I can, so therefore I think you shouldn't depend on weekend blog posts. However, I do not exclude their possibility. This week is going to be grueling, as we have a beta launch Wednesday and a full launch at the end of the week. We're still wiring the technology together, and it's a day-by-day process. Late double-shift nights in our future, I'm afraid. I'll be in touch.

Mediocre Mead Reception

Fri, 16 Jan 2009 08:13:15 GMT

Today I went to Cowgirl Creamery to have the manager sample my mead, with perhaps the prospect of having it sold in the shop, but I'm pretty sure he was underwhelmed. He seemed to warm to my Blackberry Flower, but didnt' like the Orange Blossom. He found several ways to judiciously tell me he wasn't interested. I know I make a fantastic product, really best of class for meads, but not everyone is a mead drinker. I don't think he's going to carry it, at least not right now. I think it's his loss, really, but you can't account for taste.

No matter - on better news, when dropping by the winery today, Paul was meeting with a wine shop owner, and he loved my mead and will be carrying it very soon at Double Crossed Wines. The online shop isn't open yet, but should be soon.

Proposal Pergatory

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 07:43:22 GMT

As a business owner, the most important objective is to bring in new business. The most imperative part of bringing in business is the pitch, and the proposal. The pitch is something I can do pretty solidly, and while I can also write a decent proposal, I'm finding that it's taking a good deal of our collective time for each job. I'd say each proposal is worth about $1000 in and of itself, in equivalent hour value. This means, it's costing us $1000 just to tell a client what we're wanting to charge them and why. Insane, really, if you think about it, and you end up having to build that value right into the bid. Problem is, that time is not valued by the client at all - it's expected to be given to them freely, otherwise how can they even estimate if they should choose your firm versus another firm. If you add in the fact that everyone's job has different parameters, needs, desires and expectations, and if you're trying to extend your model into activities you have not sold before - this leads to a lot of time just thinking, and reworking wording.

That's what we're doing right now. We have about eight proposals to get out the door, and they're just taking forever. Add to that our ongoing workload, and you can see how we're just up to our eyelids and unable to rest. But, we have to keep on chasing, and bringing people into the pipeline. We've been relatively successful at the $1k-$3k range for client sites, but we're now moving into the $6k-$12k packages that include not only site design and implementation, but internet marketing campaign management. It's where we need to go if we're going to survive and thrive, and it's a lot to ask of a client, but not if you figure in the absolute necessity of that work, and the total number of hours that actually go into managing an internet marketing campaign, including ad campaign management, search engine optimization, keyword placement, conversion testing, and all the other things necessary to properly administer an online presence. However, budgets are not what they once were, and there's a lot of resistance to paying the proper value for anything in this market. Consumer trends suggest that anything less than 50% off is not considered a bargain right now. If that translates to services, we should be cutting our rates in half - but we aren't. We can't. We have overhead and this stuff just isn't worth it if you're losing money every month.

So, I have a feeling we'll be doing a lot of late nights for the next few weeks, spending our time and giving it away for free, so that maybe, just maybe someone will decided to pay us back for our time.

Caught between Anxiety and Exhaustion

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 07:34:45 GMT

I can't wait for this week to end. I'm freaked out that this week is almost over. I am going through constant waves of anxiety around the amount of tasks that have piled up around me in the wake of the mighty issues with the ONE CLIENT that aren't being resolved sufficiently. My designer is evidently at the verge of melt-down, and if I don't fix THE PROBLEM, nobody will. I'm unable to get on top of my business, and I'm unable to engage with other concerns, because this is all-encompassing, and the truth is, I am about to have a stroke with the pressure that's on me.

My only reward has been escapism, and the escapism has kept me up at night (or kept me company while I couldn't sleep) to the tune of 2 am to 4 am every night this week. I'm about to explode, collapse, expire. I need my shabbat, no matter what does or doesn't get done.

I can't talk much about the details of the issues, frankly because I don't want to alarm the client if they happen to be reading my blog. I'm sure it's something we can fix, but right now it's driving everyone mad, and it's a serious show-stopper. I'm about ready to call in external help.

I need to take a shower, as I haven't in days. I need to sleep soon, or else I risk collapse. And yet, the work lay in front of me, taunting me.

Relief in the Return to Routine

Thu, 08 Jan 2009 08:42:43 GMT

Tonight I went to Cub Scout round-up (adult meeting for Cub Scout leaders), and while I learned how to plan for a winter camp-out and how to cook green lemon soup and black bean & plantain tostada cups, I had a real sense of calm. I was able to move out of my work stress and my anxiety, and just enjoy the company of others in service of helping our kids. It's nice to be back from vacation, and just get back into the swing of things. To get back into the pattern of my life, with all the little mundane regularities. Work stress has taken a lot out of me recently, and it's gonna be hard for the next few weeks, and then we head out to Hawaii where I'm going to break my routine for another two weeks. I know that as fun as that will be, it's likely to throw my schedule off even more and disrupt my work flow at time critical to pushing the business forward. Just thinking about it makes me a bit anxious. That's how screwed up I am right now - a two week vacation in Maui is making me anxious.

Sigh.

Anyhow, I am taking each day at a time, and savoring the normalcy and calm of every recurring moment. I'll check in tomorrow.

Bad Sausage

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 07:43:43 GMT

Today on my way into work I stopped by the bagel shop (where I eat all the time) and picked up a sausage dog and a coffee to try and bolster myself for what was promising to be a stressful day at work, with a client coming in to see work and talk to us, and with me knowing that we were nowhere near finished and with a 2-week launch window, I was anxious (and frankly, I still am). Turns out, that sausage was tainted and it sent me into a GI tailspin. I had to duck out home and spent a painful afternoon in the restroom trying to purge and recover, and deal with my simultaneous anxiety and stress over business. The signs of the recession are painfully close, and while we're still building our business and trying to reach profitability, I got news this morning that Factor 5 (the large video game company in the same building as us) went belly up. I guess that explains why there's so much parking in the parking lot.

It's just tough - it's hard enough being a new novice entrepreneur in a good economy, but to start a business in a downturn is downright freaky. I will keep up the faith, as I have two employees and frankly it's easier to try and make our business run than to find a job, and I just don't want back into the rat race. I am feeling the effects of overwork stress, working 14 hour days at times, and missing my free time. I feel like I'm running around like crazy and we have so far to go before it's all working along at its own pace. Added to the stress, we go to Hawaii at the end of the month for a couple of weeks, and I'm not sure how we're going to make it all work. I guess it's a trail run for distance management.

Now I get the news tonight about LJ, and again the anxiety hits. When do we hit bottom? When does all of this shake out, and can we keep on going in the meanwhile. I'm fortunate to have a bit of a safety net, but it's still tough to just leak money without feeding enough back in to balance the sheets. I just have to keep on breathing and pushing forward, and keep the faith that it'll all work out.

Today was like my body's way to enforce perspective, however, much like my shoulder. I'm getting biofeedback telling me to stop pushing my body so hard, and thus my mind and soul. I have to start my yoga practice again, or something. That, and make sure I stay connected with my kids, my family, and my friends. My apologies, by the way, if you haven't seen much reply to my personal emails lately - it's been one of the casualties of my life these days.

I should try to get to sleep here, as I've put my body through the ringer enough today.

Oh, by the way, I hear the meeting went fantastic. I have a great team.

Some days you just wish you were only an employee

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 07:30:18 GMT

I've been having some crises of faith over the last few days, and it's only because I'm tired and overworked and dealing with clients that are expecting impossible deadlines, but working double shifts and trying to stay positive for my staff can wear me down, and today I'm just feeling like I wish I had my comfy CSU job back, with even schedules and guaranteed pay. I could go home at 5pm and leave my work at work - spend time with family and friends, and not have to worry about where my next client was going to come from. Sure, my will was depleting and my mind was failing, and I was kinda tired and done with the work I was doing, but at least it had the illusion of being secure and it certainly wasn't taxing.

I'll get over it in a few days - mostly I'm grumbly because we have a client meeting tomorrow and I'm not personally happy with where we are on the project, and I feel like the meeting could have some rough spots based on mismanaged expectations. Perhaps I'm speaking out of turn, and everything will be fine, but again - I'm tired and grumbly.

So tonight I work my 2nd shift and I'll turn on the TV and watch back episodes of 'Chuck' to keep me up and happy. Maybe I'll get to sleep by 4am.

Is it always gonna be this much work?

Releasing back into the work week

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 07:54:28 GMT

Hello my friends,

Here it is, another day gone, and as I sit here typing out the final minutes of January 4th, and looking down the double-barrels of the coming week, I realize I've got more going on this month than I had last month, and it's got me a little anxious. Julia's 40th birthday is coming up, and at the end of the month we go to Hawaii for 2 weeks, plus we have a big client site due this month, and much has be done on it before it's ready to go. I've got some bad thing going on with my arm that started as a pull or something from trying to do push-ups (stupid health stuff), and it's just been on-and-off again bad until about 3 days ago, when it started hurting a whole lot. Tomorrow I go and see my chiropractor to see if there's anything he can do to help, and if not, it's off to the allopathic practitioner (i.e. Doctor).

So, not a lot to say today other than, it's been a busy social December, and it proves to be the same for January as well, so I'll try to get done what I can, and not kill myself in the process.

Home again, home again - Jiggity-jig

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 07:56:57 GMT

It's day three, the midnight run once again. Today we made it home from the beach, and are slowly reintegrating with our house after being gone for a week. Took the tree out, did a little cleaning and filing, and Julia ran a D&D game while I managed a bit of business and dealt with the pain of a screwed-up arm muscle that bugs me every once in a while when I sleep on it wrong. I injured myself about six weeks ago doing way too many push-ups, and I think I may have separated a ligament from my humorus, or something, but I get these deep pains in my skeletal muscles (tricep? I have no idea) that preclude me from doing the simplest of actions, like button up my fly, or lift anything out in front of my body. it sucks.

In other news, I am learning the value of adaptation to conditions in business, and realizing that hosting my own server directly is not the most efficient way to do business. I have to do it the way others are doing it now, which is working through a reseller. There are lots of great options, and I'll be in a better situation with greater reliability and more features for my customers. I think I've made my service selection, but I'm going to do a bit more due diligence tonight before I pull the trigger. I will reduce my hosting costs to at least 30% of the current operating budget (probably more), and I'll reduce my reliance on IT consultants to almost nothing. I really had a romantic desire to have my own machinery, and be the lord of my own domain, so to speak, but the truth is - Archer Web Solutions is not a hosting company primarily, but a web solutions company, and I need to be ever-vigilant to give my clients the very best, even if it means hiring out to others for that service.

But enough business talk - you can go to my corporate blog for that info. :).

Better post before the click changes over, so see you all tomorrow.

The Midnight Run, or Day Two of 2009

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 07:55:58 GMT

Hello my friends, it is I blogging in the last minutes of January 2nd, 2009, and remembering the midnight runs to make the entries each day. Usually it means shorter entries with less depth, but something is better than nothing.

For tonight, I will merely comment that it's the last day out at Stinson for my family and I, and it's been just long enough. Today I was having serious I'm-done-with-this-vacation feelings. It's not that I don't enjoy being out here, or spending the time with family, but mostly I'm just feeling like life has to move forward, and I can't be out of it any more.

For example, today we had some server slow-downs, and I had to manage all of the issues remotely, with my IT contractor in another country, and my employees waiting on me to fix the problem so they can continue to develop our clients' websites, that are all tight on schedule at this point and need to be worked on over the weekend in order to meet our target deadline this week. I'm being forced by necessity into making some big business decisions around hosting and services, and it's making my head swim, and...I had to do all of this in the company of 4 stir-crazy children indoors all day for a rainy morning and cold afternoon.

I need to get back to the office, so I can get some work done. And I need to get away from the crazy holiday eating before I completely undo all the work I achieved during the fast. Time to clean it up. The plan was to start a mini-fast this month before we go away to Hawaii. I wonder if I'll go through with it. I'd have to start sunday, if I do. Hmm. talk to me tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, we pack up and head home tomorrow, so I'm gonna hit the hay now. And looks like I'll even make it in before midnight. Yay!

Breaking news - one of the few meaderies that I consider to be anything close to a competitor just moved in to Point Reyes Station (where I want to have *my* meadery), and to me, this is a good thing. The more we can raise mead consciousness, the more we might be able to fenagle a napa-west Mead culture along the coast on Highway 1. I'm going to visit Cowgirl Creamery in a few weeks to give the manager a taste of our product line. I hope he likes it enough to sell some in the store.

Happy New Year 2009

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 07:51:50 GMT

Hello everyone,

Sorry I haven't been around in the blog-o-sphere, but the truth of the matter is, I've been busy, and I've also started to try to fit in a corporate blog on Archer Web Solutions, so it's been hard to get enough energy or timing to post both there and here. That being said, it's a new year, and perhaps my mini-resolution will be to post something, just anything, once a day for 2009. I think it's a good experiment in my ability to keep with it (and not to back-date).

So, this one's short and sweet - thank you, I'll be here all week (and all year).

And don't forget to check out our blog at Archer Web Solutions :)

The A Team x Enter the Dragon

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 01:45:30 GMT

"I pity your Fu!"

Hello again Blogosphere! I'm baa-a-a-a-a-ck!

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 17:16:26 GMT

Hello folks,

After a large haitus, I'm rededicating myself to be back on the blog wagon. I may not always have a lot to say, but I need to have the daily outlet and the platform to talk about what's on my mind these days, because, frankly I'm doing a lot. My wife and I have been running a web business now for over a year (http://www.archerwebsolutions.com) and we've been doing very little marketing, because we've been overwhelmed and just trying to finish the things in the pipeline right in front of us. Now, we've taken the plunge to get an office and hire employees, and so it's really important for me to start to get myself out there, and I think that getting my blogging skills back up again is going to be a key factor of that. Not that I'm going to use my personal blog as a platform to promote my business, but rather, having the daily output of 'what i am doing' will drive my ability to write better copy and to blog in a professional capacity on our business blog. So, it's the morning and I have to get to business needs, but I thought I would drop a line and say 'hello again'.

Also, let me leave you with things little fun nugget:

Click to see my Star Wars Personality!!

Public Apology

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 06:03:39 GMT

It's not often we get a chance to confront our own inner d*ckhead, but today I got to see it first-hand. Every once in a while I find myself tripping down forest trails on facebook and finding friends-of-friends-of-friends, and locating folks I used to know in previous parts of my life. Recently I did this, and friended an old high school classmate, and was met with a very angry 'how dare you' response, making reference to a 'psycho' post I made about this person, and initially I was confused. I hadn't remembered making any such post about this person at all - why would I? I hadn't seen her in years, and never had anything against her, but I decided to check out my blog history, just in case I had accidentally said something that could be misconstrued. Well, I searched back and about two and a half years ago, there's a post by me that included some vulgarity and thoughtless statements about this person that should have never been written, much less to a blog post on the internet. I would publicly apologize to this person, but I don't want to feed her name back into the search engines and start the cycle of impropriety over again. I've removed the original post, but unfortunately the post is archived and will exist on the way-back machine indefinitely. So, not only have I alienated a potential friend, someone I really knew nothing about other than our brief acquaintance as kids, but I've defamed her in a public space. I feel like crap, and can only figure I was drunk when I wrote the post, but ultimately it was inexcusable and I don't even deserve to ask for forgiveness. All I can hope is that the information falls off the radar, and searches no longer turn up my post for her name. I wish I could say 'oh, it was such a long time ago', but the fact that it was only 2 1/2 years ago belies that argument. Really, I have to just face that due to whatever unresolved childhood issues, or whatever crap I might have been going through at the time, I have a part of me that can be an ass, and can be truly insensitive. So, even though I don't deserve to be forgiven, I ask for her forgiveness. I felt this had to be a public apology, but I just can't include her actual name.

President Obama

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 20:10:20 GMT

I'm proud to be an American today, but not so proud to be a Californian.

Okay, this is why we all have to volunteer to be poll watchers in the swing states...

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 01:55:46 GMT

http://www.michiganmessenger.com/4076/lose-your-house-lose-your-vote

Talk about evil bastard moves. They want to disenfranchise the disenfranchised by disallowing voters coming in from addresses that are from foreclosed homes. We need to get that same list of folks and make sure their voter records are kept up-to-date. Democratic party, you need to be on top of this one!

Man, this world can be a shit place to live sometimes.

Legend of Neil, Episode 2

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 04:17:27 GMT

Okay, this was auto-playing in an annoying way, so I'm providing the link to the source instead: Legend of Neil, Episode 2

Finish line, or just the beginning?

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 07:03:12 GMT

Hey All,

Just thought I'd clock in on my last day of the fast (day 60) and report I broke the 200 barrier and finished at 199 lbs. That was my mental goal, and it appears my body has cooperated. Tomorrow I start my transition back into eating solid foods, and thus begins my anxiety around keeping good eating and exercise habits going into the future. I expect to gain an instant 5-10 lbs from refilling my digestive track, which will put me around 210, but from there I hope to work down to a target weight of 175 lbs the old-fashioned way of exercise and caloric restriction. realistically, if I can get to 185 lbs, but I have decent musculature, I'll be totally stoked. Some folks are astounded by my ability to fast for 60 days and say I have tons of willpower, but frankly fasting is way easier than just watching what I eat. My issue is that I love food a whole lot, and I love a lot of food more. I love the stuff that's really bad for you too, like beef ribs and fatty cuts of meat. I also love coffee, and lots of it. All of these things have to be severely curtailed in my new life. Of course, having fasted willingly for 60 days, one would think that this should all be a breeze for me, right?

Except, I've done this fast several times before, and every single time, while it keeps for a while, I get lazy and I stop caring, and I put the weight back on. What I need is a permanent change in my attitude about my body image, and my health. What's different this time around, is that I got a warning from the Doc about my liver, and the weight loss was for more than aesthetic purposes - that means keeping it off is for the same reasons. I've never really enjoyed working out or doing exercise, but I have to form new habits and new attitudes. Time to join the Gym, join weight watchers, and get on the life-long program that will keep me in shape and healthy into my later years. I'm in my mid-thirties, and this is when things traditionally start to shift in health from easy to hard, and it just gets harder as you get older, so this is the time to establish all those good habits. I've got the will, but I'm not certain if I have the willpower.

Anyhow, I'm on the eve of my return to the eating, and I'm just feeling anxious. I'll keep you posted on how it goes in the weeks and months to come.

Hello from this side of overwhelm

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 09:10:28 GMT

Hey all - sorry I didn't keep up my promise to blog every day about my fasting experience - it's been going great, and frankly it's the one thing that's probably kept me stable during this month of business overwhelm. In short, we had an issue with one of our clients (and with one of our contractors) that set us back a great deal in time and cash, and it's been all we've been able to do to recover, and only now are we starting to see the light (but we're not quite there yet). I don't want to go into too many details, but let's just say, I'm lucky I'm having enough time to post even now.

So, today is fasting day 55 (56 technically, but it's 2am and I haven't gone to bed yet), and I weighed in at 203 this morning. June 30th is my last day, and while I'm not having a struggle with the fast (I could probably go another 30 days without any issue), I'm feeling like it's time to wind it down. I'll finish up probably around 200 lbs, and I'll gain back about 5-10 from just filling my digestive system back up, but my target weight is still around 170, so I'll have another 30-40 lbs to lose with good old fashioned exercise and portion/content control. I can't wait to go back to my doctor and see how my stats measure up now. I've been keeping my blood pressure periodically, and it's dropped dramatically with my weight. I'll have to get blood tests for my other stats.

I've been asked if I'm excited to be eating again, and the truth is, I'm probaby more anxious and frightened/concerned than I am excited. Don't get me wrong, I *love* to eat, and really that's the issue. I hope that I can successfully adopt good eating and exercise habits to hold on to the successes I've achieved over the last two months. It's so very easy to put on weight, and I personally can do it at the drop of a hat. It won't be an easy undertaking to continue to drop weight after my magic bullet cure is over. It'd be easier to just fast my way down to my goal weight, and perhaps in the future I might end up doing just that, but I want to try my hand at adopting a more conventional means of achieving my goal and at the same time learn healthy habits.

Anyhow, it's late and I need to hit the sack. One small note - I went to see The Dark Knight tonight - FANTASTIC.